Sniffles

My nose has been running for about a week now. I feel no other symptoms of illness, not even so moderate as a cold.
My eyes keep leaking. I can't cry, but my eyes wont stop leaking.
I'm growing up in the wrong world, and ought to try to make the best of it.
No more games. Just honesty.
What do I want, honestly?
I want to be free of want and desire.
I want to know what I want.
I want to know how to be better, be more, and achieve what I can.
I want to know myself.
I want to feel more, experience a wider realm of pure feeling.
I want more stability.
I want more clarity.
I want to stop expressing affection where I'll never do anything about it, and
I want to stop feeling the copious volumes of affection that will get me nowhere positive.
I want to learn how to talk myself out of things.
I want a backbone.
I want to escape this feeling.

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