"You must play piano," the old hens cooed when you were young
"Not a key, I swear" you insisted
Those fingers aren't for making that kind of music though, are they darling
They're to make me sing
Not the usual sad cry of lonely whales,
But a euphoric, interstellar kind of song.

New Leaf

I went to Alcoholics Anonymous for the first time. We didn't sit in a circle, but in rows. Nobody sat directly beside anyone else. Some people turned in their seats to watch the speaker; I did when I felt I was being spoken to. Many folks seemed to want to greet me with their opportunity to speak.  I used the phrase "My name is Stephanie, and I'm an alcoholic" for the first time. 

Let's let that sink in for a moment.


Sometimes romance and all it's impracticalities feel like a better option than growing up and all it's practicalities. And sometimes you have to create that romance for yourself, and sometimes that is all the reality you need.

This is not the nonsense you're looking for

I can be as strong as I please,
but it only takes effect theoritically.
Physics works well with theory,
why doesnt the physical?

What If

What if it was all there, laid out in front of you, 
But you were so busy wondering about if you were noticed
That you forgot to pay attention.
What if it just needs to be asked
The right questions, at the right time,
instead of being defensive 
and offended
all the time.

What if saying
"Thank you for your patience"
was bigger than saying
"Sorry for being a jerk"

What happens when
You care more about 'this'
than about 'that'

what if.

Anthems of a stray

I knew I was a nomad from an alarmingly young age. By my eighth birthday, I could pack, clean, and unpack my bedroom in a single weekend, everything having it's own home. It was a great way to spend a summer. At fourteen, my mother saw fringes around my wispy frame and asked, "Child, have you been listening to my Dylan records again?". She tried to deny I was a gypsy when I confronted her as a preteen. My dirty hair, olive skin, green-grey eyes didn't help her convince me.
A constant need for change of scenery, of conversation. It didn't take me long to realize how swiftly people became lackluster chores instead of consorts. Maturing into adulthood, I was suspicious of how likeable I seemed to be. Of course, it wasn't me people knew they liked. It was the caricature of myself that is perceived by the general public. That chain smoking alcoholic uncensored thing, somehow not offending anyone. Who wouldn't like someone like that!

Blue Collared Guilt

Don't even dare
You'll ruin it
They will fall
For your false identity
Too in love to question
Too naive to know better
Total eclipse of the hair,
Change nothing.
The sugar bowl is empty,
Run west.
Run west.
Run west.